Wednesday, December 31, 2008
I am reading this book..Hope i can finish it by tomorrow..I have cried 4x reading it..So many inspirational words for me..This is the beginning of my 2009..Ya Allah, berikanlah hambamu ini kekuatan untuk terus beramal..
Berdiri menghadap cermin di bilik baru (ofis Pengetua di Klinik lama UMP), melihat hujan lebat, hati sering tertanya, mampukah diri ini menunaikan janji pada Allah swt untuk terus berbakti kepada org tua? Untuk terus berjuang di dalam bidang akademik khasnya untuk meneruskan ke PHD? Untuk terus membantu pelajar menjadi manusia yang lebih baik, dunia akhirat? Untuk memberikan motivasi kepada rakan-rakan di KK3 agar terus bersemangat bekerja secara ikhlas? Untuk terus bersama-sama rakan-rakan akademik, menulis, membuat research, mengajar? Untuk terus ikhlas beribadat kepada Allah swt sepertimana yang telah diri ini janjikan di hadapan Kaabah baru-baru ini? Untuk terus menangis dan bertaubat di atas segala kealpaan dan kesilapan serta kedaifan di dalam dunia serba sementara? Untuk terus bersedekah biarpun duit tak pernah banyak seperti org2 lain? Untuk terus mencari peluang berbuat kebaikan dan amalan biar sehalus kuman? Untuk terus tidak putus asa berdoa berjumpa dengan seorang hamba Allah yg baik dan beriman yg sudi menjadi suami diri ini? hehehe perghhh syahdunya.....Teringat kawan-kawan bujang yg lain...teringat kawan-kawan yang hepi bersama suami dan anak2.. teringat adik dan kakak yang disayangi oleh suami dan anak2... again..teringat perasaan keibuan yang sering meronta untuk memiliki anak sendiri...sapa tak sedih.. Tapi melihat persekitaran, betapa ramai yang bersyukur kerana dianugerahkan pelbagai kebahagiaan dari pelbagai sudut...termasuk diri sendiri..alangkah indahnya dunia yang telah Allah kurniakan pada kita semua...Tanpa suami, kita masih mempunyai kawan-kawan lelaki yang berkeperibadian mulia, tanpa anak sendiri, kita masih disayangi oleh para pelajar dan anak-anak saudara...Tanpa PHD, kita masih ada peluang untuk menimba ilmu dalam apa juga situasi...Tanpa duit yang banyak, gaji yang diterima setiap bulan sentiasa dapat disedekahkan kepada anak-anak yatim..Tanpa disangka, kita akan tetap berjumpa dengan lelaki yang budiman, yang gentleman, yang punya pekerti indah dan sering menjadi penawar kepada kesunyiaan. Tanpa pelbagai kemewahan dunia, kita masih berpeluang untuk berdoa, mengaji dan solat sebanyak mungkin...Terkenang pengalaman berdiri di hadapan Kaabah kali pertama.. Subhanallah...kerdilnya diri ini kerana terlalu banyak meminta dari mu Ya Allah.. terlalu kecilnya diri ini kerana tewas berkali-kali dalam perjuangan menentang maksiat dan nafsu...Terimalah taubat ku Ya Allah...untuk tahun 2009, panjangkanlah umurku agar dapat ku mulakan PHD di UPM, agar pintu rezeki ku terus terbuka luas, agar dapat ku bahagiakan orang-orang yang ku sayangi..berilah aku peluang untuk menjadi hambamu yang beriman...kuatkan diri ku, tabahkanlah diriku...berikanlah ku sedikit sinar untuk menyayanginya..Jutaan terima kasih buat a dear fren in Ipoh..a wonderful time together..Hope you arrive safely at Chicago with the 2 girls..Kiss Ain and Aina for me...
Sunday, December 21, 2008
Bestnya bergelak ketawa dengan kawan-kawan baru dan lama di Residence Inn. As usual, for a 2-hour talk, I can only aim to create an awareness among my participants. Good enough for me. Asalkan audience ketawa, diam, berfikir, enjoy my videos and stories, I have achieved my objective. Tq ASDC. Bilik Residence Inn cantik..they have improved. One night RM150 tapi weekend RM178, public holiday RM220, gilos gak harganya!
Malas nak tulis banyak2..Airin dan Anita je tahu ilmu yang kami kongsi bersama hehehhe Gurney Plaza s the best!!!!!!
Who does not love kids? I enjoy every minute having them around me, I have 10 of them, 5 boys, 5 girls..of course belong to my elder and younger sister, but having them around is fun...having love..sincere love..they are only kids...
UNIMAP VC and top management performed their Tarian Poco2..was taken aback with people on stage..nevertheless..that is their day..I was just being quiet and I was a silent guest while my heart was missing X till now...till now...
Must share some of these photos of lovely food at Dinner during ICOHSE at Legend, KL. Had a good time during dinner with great people from UNIMAP. But the best surprise was when X came later on, I was so shocked to see him. Had a good time with him. One of the best surprise from a kind friend..
I was with Suria for this conference. So lucky to have a good friend to gossip with. Some UNIMAP students came for my presentation. They asked a lot of questions. They should, Soft Skills programs are for them. I realized the more I talk about RAKSI, the harder my heart beat. I must really work on reading and finding all related journals and prepapre my proposal. Other work will always be there. Trust people will help us, trust Allah is with us. Legend gives me one of the greatest memory becoz I met him...the only him..might not be mine..but he is sure one of a kind..Tq X..
KPT invited me to become one of the facilitators for Soft Skills and LO Documents checking. A bit disappointed with the organization. Most participants complained that they wasted their time and they were not clear on what to do. The tasks instructions were very confusing and in the end, every groups presented different things. I don't know what to comment. I reminded the organizer to have a small yet thorough briefing for the PIC before we kick start the meeting. My request was declined. Anyway, it was fun to stay at a big room (alone, sigh!) and the food was great. The hotel was so beautiful..I fell in love with my room..I felt bad though..no work done by me and I felt weak for not being challenged. The mind stop working during the meeting. Ergh..a terrible feeling...
Saturday, December 13, 2008
What an experience! I had an exhausting yet fruitful time at MMI, Tebrau. Went by bus (sakit belakang babe), makan dgn Akmar dan Halim, makan ayam penyek dan Bakso Tennis, sedapnya, then tdo di Rose Cottage sorang2, mujur ada yg temankan di sms..ngeri je tempat tu, kenangan terindah di MMI, peserta sporting dan bersungguh. Terharu dengan respons mereka, I belanja them lunch bagi presents for best presenters. Then balik ke JB, makan di Jaya Jusco, makan Steamboat Thai..sedap..makan banana split (always belanja yourself after a long day), and finally pineapple Dunkin Donut. Tunggu Akmar, balik ke umah depa, next day tumpang depa balik ke Kuantan, naik kereta yeyeyye The night before, X called. Sayu je hati sembang dgn dia. Control has..control..teringat jam dan Mont Blanc.. Some pictures with people in MMI..insyallah kita jumpa lagi people! I have learnt more about life and people outside UMP more than I ever expected. Allah maha kaya..semoga sahabat2 di MMi berjaya...
Tuesday, December 9, 2008
My last entry was a few weeks ago..so many things have happened..I hardly have time to write due to my time constraints and tiredness..Haslinda is tired? quite difficult to accept becoz I have a full blast energy when it comes to travel and giving talks.. I did some recharge last week with the help of an adorable frend..wonderful feelings..
Just a reminder to myself, finally I have a facebook account! Tq to Yazi and Arif for giving me the motivation. Also to my buddy - Wan at HSBC..now I am all hooked up with FB and frends from all over..1st reunion is coming - 13 Dis 2008, however I can't make it this time. Will try my best to meet the rest of them soon.
1. Handled Interpersonal Communication One day Training at Pekan with Jabatan Kesihatan. Had a good discussion with Ayeob. Good to know my exstd has matured..
2. Handled RAKSI One day workshop for HEPA. A great time with new timers!
3. I was at Pan Pac KLIA, sending off people who left for London. Wish I could go, yet I promise Airin for a trip to Oxford University Next year, insyallah. Attended KPT LO and KI meetings. Was a bit lost at the beginning, luckily Jamal, Rashidi and PM Dr Wan Azhar made some things clear with me. Tq guys. Wonderful room..lonely and cold hehhe
3. I was at Legend, KL, presented my paper. Met Unimap people, Hisham (PTD/PHD New Zealand). Had a good discussion. Had a good rest at night in that big room, big bed. Had a good time..felt so `manja-manja' and `dimanja-manja'. Went all the trouble to use Strawberry fragrance for all occasion. :-) Wonderful feeling.. Want to be with you again...Pray hard... 4x salute to Xavier, never had that feeling before.. I met Khairul too at Kl Sentral..loving as ever, may Allah be with you my dear soul mate...
4. Korban day with family. Abah and his kepala lembu brought chaos to the family..So `abah'....Shamir (youngest son of Kak Long) will go through his operation on 12 Dis 2008, hope everything goes well.
5. I will be a JB, training with an engineering company (Personal Development Program) for their team leaders. 10 - 13 Dis 2008, Akmar dan hubby, Halim will be there to entertain me. Tq my sweet frends... Will I meet abg Hanif? We see how it goes..
6. Will be in Penang 15-18 Dis 2008 with Anita, Airin, Raha, Yazi, Arif..can't wait to get together for sembang2 corner...meeting Shamir (xstd), maybe Shahul and Yusof for some counseling work.
7. Hafiz is coming back from Australia, welcome home my dear sis..makan ikan bakar at Tg Lumpur on me..wish Kak Tym is here with us...
8. Will be at Cherating for a motivational talk for PnP UMP at 18 Dis 2008.
9. Then busy moving to a new building...the whole faculty..
10. Will go to KL again on 4th Jan 2009..for a small dinner with Lizah and the gang.. Will I meet X there? Maybe not this time...will go with Hafiz, insyallah..
11. Chatted with Ain, she is in Bristol, UK. I think I found my research method for my PHD. She shared with me some journals. Can't wait to discuss with Anita and the gang in Penang.
12. Lonely? I will not allow my heart to go through this moment of loneliness ever again. AJ? Tq for being sincere. You have taught me, if one door closes, other doors are waiting for us. I am sincerely in love with my life, with people surrounding me. I am grateful with what Allah swt has given me. I must work harder for the family, for more expectations at work. More responsibility means more opportunities to do good in life. I feel good looking at a blind boy wanting to buy Yong Tau Fu at Kl Sentral last week. I went and talked to him, he made a joke at me. We laughed together! What a character! And I softly paid for his lunch without him realizing, he taught me the meaning of life. To be able to smile and make others smile around us.
Tq Allah...May God be with us..especially to my beloved family members, to my good friends...to my students.. wherever you are...
Friday, November 21, 2008
PICTURES AT MS GARDEN WITH PROF DR TURIMAN SUANDI - KURSU KEMAHIRAN FASILITATOR UMP
PICTURES AT KANGAR - SEMINAR PENTADBIRAN ASRAMA IPTA
It started with me attending Seminar Pentadbiran Asrama at Kangar with fellows and JHEPA associates. Then I attended Kursus Kemahiran Fasilitator at MS Garden for 2 days early this week, then I and Ust Hilmi handled Bengkel Sekretariat RAKSI on Thursday, then today I attended Bengkel Penulisan Jurnal Sains Kemanusiaan. OMG! Feel so tired..feel so academician..I wish I can just go to the beach..Since my birthday, I have not visited TC. I miss the breeze and sound of the ocean. I am not a romatic freak, just tired with work. Yet, my mind is working day and night especially thinking of my promise to Dr Turiman. The book, my phd proposal, my promises to write and write. PM Dr Zain has somewhat adviced us to focus on our writing and publication. Enough of doing motivational talks. Can I really stop myself from doing all that? Need to discuss with KK3 associates and JPK KK3 to get things moving. Too many things on my mind..too little time..lately lack of energy..Must finish UHL3112 report for Ezi...
1. 28 Nov 8am-5pm (Khidmat Komuniti CENFED at Jabatan Kesihatan PEKAN) Interpersonal dan Intrapersonal - must prepare the slides
2. 28-30 Nov Bengkel Pemantapan RAKSI at Hotel Seri Malaysia - must really think on the tentative so that e will have a fruitful discussion
3. 3-4 Dis Bengkel Soft Skills at Pan Pacific KLIA (KPT invited me to give a talk - still waiting for their invitation letter)
4. 5-6 Dis International Conference at Legend, KL - need to prepare the slides for RAKSI presentation
5. 8 Dis Raya Haji
6. 10-11 Dis Korban at UMP - am participating
7. 15-18 Dis - International Conference on Postgraduate Education at Penang, flying with Anita
8. 18 Dis night - Talk on Motivation and Counseling at Residence Inn, Cherating for PnP 4 UMP
9. 22-23 Dis - Lawrence Walter Training at Vistana
Those are the things I have to do which I believe most people have more things to do. Yet, the list grows bigger and I have not added all those meetings which I have to attend. Sometimes I receive last minute invitation for ceramah and all sorts of training which I love to do.
Notice not even one event is about going out on a date. Why? because my heart is no longer into trusting love. I have decided to take it easy with love and marriage. My time has yet to arrive. Will I go for umrah with Anita in March? Only God knows... AJ? Gone with the wind. Why? I have decided to terminate all feelings. For the benefits of all. Tq Allah for this strength. I will be better and stronger to face all challenges. With Ust Hilmi leaving UMP for his doctorate, I have a lot of responsibilities to ensure all jobs are done. Ya Allah..tolonglah hambamu ini..